Iron Vic, No matter how much I eat, I never seem to add any significant muscle size. I’ve been stuck at 165 for three years (I’m sixfoot) and would love to get up to 200. I have tried chromium, glandulars, androstenedione, tribulus, HMB, GHB, meal replacement packets, Yohimbe Bark…you name it and I’ve tried it and nothing works – perhaps my physiology is different from others in some strange way…anyway I was hoping that you might be able to shed some light on how best to proceed. Maybe there is a new product out there that I’m unaware of? All the best,

Johnnie P., San Pedro

You need a reality check. I get the distinct impression that you are one of these guys who thinks they can purchase progress in a bottle and ignore the real progress levers: sweat, guts, calories and teethgrinding perseverance. Why do I suspect you are a little vain about your appearance and secretly don’t want to lose your ‘lithe’ physique even for a little while. Here’s a freaking fact: if you eat enough food, you’ll gain weight. So first off, you don’t eat enough food. When it comes to adding muscle there is a one-two combination that has worked since WWII – lots and lots of calories combined with lots of power exercises like squats, bench presses, deadlifts, power cleans (does anyone even know what these are much less practice them?) press-behind-the-neck, rows, nose breakers, heavy chins and cheat curls. I assume you probably train the hell out of your beach muscles using 12-rep sets and a poundage so miniscule that you can talk to friends as you do your reps.

This is a far cry from the projectile vomiting one of my training partners used to routinely suffer on the final reps of an agonizing set of limit deadlifts. He even got the nickname of Bobby Barf and more than one head referee at powerlifting competition would get hit by his Linda Blair-Exorcist puke stream as he struggled to lock out another 700-pound deadlift. You on the other hand, talk on your cell phone while doing leg extensions. Now let’s set aside exercise intensity because I’m beginning to sound like a broken record in these columns. Let’s talk about eating in general and calories specifically. If you weigh 165 you need to eat 700 to 1,000 calories per meal for five meals a day seven days a week. Do that for four straight weeks and you’ll add 15-pounds of bodyweight.

That’s a mathematical fact. Now if you hit the cardio and are picky about where you obtain your calories, you’ll get bigger. That’s assuming you exchange the cell-phone leg extensions and the tricep kickbacks and lateral raises done on a machine, for some squats, bench presses and deadlifts. Follow this prescription the vast majority of your weight gain will be solid muscle. In your particular case the number one concern should be consuming calories: you have to eat lots of calories five times a day everyday seven days a week. Save all that dough you’ve been wasting on those exotic supplements that don’t do a damn thing and buy extra steak, fish, fowl and shellfish. Buy some Parrillo Protein powder, Parrillo Bars and Liver Amino™ Formula. I would unreservedly recommend you buy a couple canisters of Pro-Carb™. Mix double servings of Pro-Carb™ with protein powder in just water and drink one of these power bombs three times a day. You should go through a canister of pro carb every week! If you are serious (and I sort of have my doubts) you’ll start eating like a man, weight training like a deranged powerlifter and sleeping like a hibernating grizzly. Keep it up for a solid month and write back. If you half-ass it, or commit partially, you’ll confirm every negative suspicion I have about you. Ball is in your court Johnnie P.

Iron Vic, I notice you don’t make much mention about forearm training. My forearms look like sticks, this despite having some fairly decent biceps. I think I need some lower arm specialization as mine are pretty dang deficient.

Jack R., Bay St. Louis

 

I don’t talk a lot about forearms except on rare occasion because most jokers will use it as an excuse to start doing wrist curls and drop squats. Too many trainees spend way too much time training biceps and biceps are tiny muscles. Yet the average gym rat spends as much time blasting biceps as they do training their entire back. Now tell them that they need to train forearms and Katy-bar-the-door; they’ll drop some key critical muscle group to “make room” for more arm work and will do it so fast it’ll make your head spin. Let’s assume you are a sane, diligent individual with a balanced training regimen who is genuinely deficient in the forearms and wants to spend some extra time bringing this lagging body part up to par. I would suggest the following specialization program done twice a week – and no need to drop anything critical… Day I Wrist curls superset with reverse wrist curls: both done off the end of an exercise bench. 4 sets 15 reps – on each wrist curl allow the weight to roll down to the end of the fingers before curling the weight upward.

At the top hold the contracted position and squeeze the bar. Reverse wrist curls are also done on the bench. Flip the hands over and allow the weight to pull down before curling. Hold the top position for 2-seconds before lowering. Forearm stretch: between each superset walk to a wall, extend the arms in front fingers held upward. Place the spread fingers on the wall at belt height. Now lean forward and downward on straight arms and spread fingers. Done correctly this causes an intense and incredible stretch in the forearms, one that verges on pain. Day II High repetition shrugs: invented by Ed “the Giant Killer” Coan, this exercise will give you a grip like a pit bull’s bite. Take a double over hand grip and shrug light poundage until it literally comes out of your hands. Fight until the bar drops out of your hands, trying to hang onto the weight at the end with the tips of the fingers.

Three sets of 20-25 reps taken to dropfailure. Do these in a power rack or over blocks to cut down on the crashing noise. Tip: if you put a wrapped towel around the power rack pins when the weight finally crashes down there is hardly any noise. Reverse curls: do these super strict and you’ll build forearms that’ll make Popeye envious. The trick is to establish a rock solid start position, use a reverse grip and move only the forearm to curl the weight to the shoulders. Hold the top position for a beat before lowering. The wrist should be held stiff throughout. 2-3 sets of 15 reps after shrugs and you’ll be toast.

Iron Vic, What’s your opinion of the modern American fighting man? How do these kids stack up to the WWI, WWII and Korea US soldiers?

James, USMC

Semper Fi and thank you for your service to this great country. The current crop of American fighting men (and women) are the finest fighters ever seen anywhere. These kids are better equipped, better conditioned and the perfection of the integrated approach between land, air and sea has resulted in the most formidable fighting force ever assembled. The modern United States Armed Forces are all-volunteer and this professionalism has resulted in the creation of an elite cadre that is able to build on its expertise. Technology has certainly helped on every level, our war machines and the computerization of support systems is space age stuff. But what is neglected is the fact that today’s fighting men are bigger, stronger, better fed and better trained than any fighting force in history.

Delta Force, SEALS and Rangers are required to complete a battery of physical tests that ensure only a select few are chosen for the ultra-elite. Weapons are far more accurate and deadly and when all this is coordinated under a centralized command, no fighting force on the planet can stand up to our combined might. Nowadays the best the ‘insurgents’ (can we label them what they are – terrorists?) can hope for is booby-trap hit-and-run coward stuff. The terror scum thought they could duke it out toe to toe with the US Military when we entered Baghdad two years back but every single time they stood and fought they were decimated, cut to pieces. My two favorite images from the war were high-tech and low-tech examples of the modern US fighting man in action: in the first involved a firefight in downtown Baghdad; the marines were taking fire from a fortified forward position and had some hostiles firing to their right flank.

They were returning fire when a squad member got stitched up the right thigh with some AK- 47 rounds fired from the right flank. A camera man was twenty feet to the rear and shot sound footage of three squad members scrambling back across the street, grabbing a stretcher and running to the base of the wall from which the rest of the platoon were firing. They loaded the wounded marine onto the stretcher, turned and

were running back across the wide highway when the wounded soldier, yelled, sat bolt upright, whipped his automatic weapon across his chest while still being carried on the stretcher, fired a full burst up the road and yelled, “Got you! You F@# bastard!” He had killed a hostile while being carried on a stretcher. His buddies continued to carry this prototypical American fighting man as he sat erect and ready to deal more death from his stretcher. In the second example an informant radioed that a huge contingent of terror scum were moving from their hiding place in a mosque to a new location. An American fighter pilot turned on his long distance camera and the TV screen was filled with an image of 60-75 men crossing a plaza. The voice of the pilot was heard, “Ten seconds to impact.”

The image of the crowd of armed terrorists grew clearer and heads could be seen turning towards the jet noise. Suddenly, in a microsecond, a flash appeared that was followed by an instantaneous explosion that enveloped the entire plaza. Inside 5-seconds the burst cloud settled and nothing remained but a smoking crater. The pilot’s voice came over the radio, “Dude!” He was heard saying to his copilot, “Bull’s-eye on the hostiles.”

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